So for the last 10 years of my life, I have worked outside the home. This was not an option. Financially speaking I had to work. Although Jason worked very hard as well, and would've loved to have been able to support us on his own, we weren't that fortunate. For years I have always prided myself on the fact that I work. Deep inside however I would pray that one day God would allow me to be at home with our children. I've never really shared with anyone how much I really longed for that though. For some reason my twisted mind told me that staying home with the kids would mean I was lazy and unmotivated. Or maybe not so much that my mind thought that but that my mind thought other people would think that of me??
I've prayed about this for years and even after Jason went back to school and got a new job, I would continue to have to work. Although our financial situation was much better, you know how it goes, the more you make the more you spend. I continued however to pray that somehow someway God would allow me to be at home. To take the burden of working outside of the home (because it is a BIG job) and give me the peace and serenity that comes with being a stay at home mom! Ok...wait for it! I know what you're thinking and trust me, I now know the real truth. I'll get to that in a minute! Most of you know, that nearly two years ago my oldest child was in a car accident and suffered a traumatic brain injury. Immediately after the wreck, I was forced to take a couple of months off from work in order to be with him in the hospital and through therapy. After a bit though I attempted to go back to work. I was taking on more than I could handle. The stress of now raising a child with a disability, two other children, a husband with a job out of town, and me working outside the home as well was a bit of a challenge. It was recommended by many doctors and therapists that I either shorten my day or give up my outside job completely. We prayed about it and asked God for answers. It was clear...Parker needed me! So then it began...my new job as a stay at home mom!
Although yes there is some peace and serenity but not in the ways one might think. Depends on what you consider peace and serenity to look like. I do find it peaceful however to so many aspects of my new position. Here are a few of my peaceful moments: To wake up my children and get them ready without worrying about myself and not stress if I am awoken to a child who has puked 4 times beside my bed or even in my bed. I find it peaceful when I don't go into a panic when we wake to find no milk for cereal only to realize we will have to make a pit stop at McDonalds. There's no stress when we get to school for drop off and realize that someone left their backpack in the driveway because they were too busy playing basketball in the driveway in the morning. I have no worries when I have to pick up all the neighborhood kids who need a ride to school. I love being able to attend all school functions and also to be able to volunteer in my middle schoolers classroom (oh how he loves it :). I find it peaceful as I sit in a car rider line for 30 minuites or even to sit on the living room floor surrounded by stacks of folded clothes that is never-ending. I now have time to grocery shop, go to doctor appointments and therapy appointments! What a relief! Oh did I mention the laundry? And the best part of all...I find it completely peaceful when I slave over making an incredible yummy awesome dinner only to see three kids sit down at the table and complain about what I made and sometimes even throw up what I made. Trust me, this blog is no compaint by anymeans. I truly do enjoy all of these things. I feel so blessed to be able to do this. Although yes, given our circumstances it was a forced decision, it is not one that I would take back or change. God sees the bigger picture. All of us have differnt situations and reasons why we stay at home or not with our children. I will say this however, no matter what your situation, don't judge the other one. Both are extremely difficult jobs. I will also say though to remember God's promise Matthew 7:7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Although this is not how I envisioned my life or Parker's life to look like, I realize it's not my vision...it's God's! I never thought in a million years that my prayers would be answered this way. With a blended vision, God listened and answered. He wants me at home! So yes, I do work! I am a stay at home mom who works 24 hours a day and instead of being paid money, I'm paid with a heart full of contentment and happiness!
So remember all you stay at home moms, when asked the question, "Do you work?", just smile and give the answer "yes, I work full time!"
With love,
Senior President as the Bewley Household Mom
Love it!!!!
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